4:46 p.m. - 2003-11-07
jealous of flowers.
Ma Chere Grandmere,i miss you so much. thank you for keeping a good eye on things and making sure we're all right. where would we be with out you? spiritually at least. there was so many things i wanted to say, things i wanted to do and things i wanted to show you. its tough you know, being me, but it was worse being you. youre different now, in a good way. the lack of that pain is so wonderful for you. yet, i must say, i often wonder exactly where you are. i wish you could tell me or show me in some way shape or form. are the people around you nice? i hope so because you deserve the best. Hey! remember george that lived in the apartment across from yours? i think he had a crush on you. he had the silliest laugh, do you remember?
guess what? i recently learned how to crochet! isnt that great? i wish i could make you a warm and cozy scarf that you could wear everyday during winter. i bet you dont miss the cold conneticut winters, do you? ok, heres the deal, since i cant really make you a scarf, i will crochet one in honor of you and i'll wear it all the time, i promise. dont worry i wont pick any crazy colors or anything!
this christmas is going to be rough with out you. oh how i will miss your phone call on christmas morning, wanting to see if we liked the things you ordered us from all your catalogs. i treasure everything youve given me, even the things that arent in material form. please show mom that youre in her heart because i know she is going to have the saddest eyes when she realizes that you wont be calling on december 25th. please just comfort her. im just like her, you know? which means im just like you and im so thankful for that.
i just want to let you know that i tried to put on some good music for you as you were going into eternal rest, but nothing was good enough for you, so i jsut turned it off and let you hear our voices. i hope you heard me ok when i told you i loved you. i know those hearing aid batteries can get pretty low, quite fast. i bet you dont miss those or your oxygen tanks that you had to haul around, those were such an inconvience werent they?
mom and i hope to be visiting you soon. maybe next june if aunt connie doesnt mind us staying with her. i hope the flowers i gave to you are still there, im sure all the people surounging you on that grassy nole are jealous of them. they were as beautiful as you, love.
i love you and im always thinking of you.
