5:05pm - 2003-09-02
mental impairment
i guess im in a writing mood today.
heres the big question... what should i choose? what am i going to do with the rest of my life. i should just make a decision and go with it, if i decide i dont like it then i can just go back to school and change it. (thats seans advice)
so many things go on in my head. i've always been consumed by the way things are in books or movies. when i read a book or watch a movie about a girl in college living in a big city and taking public transportation around town, it makes me want to do that. not just because i saw it or read it, but because it wasnt really brought to my attention until then. i would love to experience things on my own with no other influences but myself and people i will soon meet. alot of times i realize how much i still want to be in the entertainment business. when will i ever get my break as a singer songwriter? well, maybe i should start playing guitar more and think up rythms for the numerous songs i've written. on top of that i would love to get into acting. its one of the funnest things i've ever done. theres always my interest in photography and journalism. come on national geographic, just notice my work? or not...because i havent published any of it or taken enough pictures to make it known. OK...what about environmental studies? i love learning things about the environment and i want to save it in anyway possible. why wont the government listen to my ideas for recycling laws and new developments in the combustion of fossil fuels? oh, maybe its because i havent done anything at my schools to promote recycling or done something that would really impact the youth of today to turn away from their ignorance and know whats going on! everyone tells my i should get into fashion design and merchandising and even though that is something i love i just dont feel secure in it, or intelligent for that matter. wheres the knowlege in fashion design, other than how to thread a bobbin and which color is really in this fall? i want to learn about microorganism and ecosystems, i want to be able to quote THE ODDYSEY and write a story that will get everyones creative engines started. i want to influence this nation by protest and be part of a special interest group. i want to sit down with the president and find out exactly why he is screwing our country over and what caused his psychological disorders. so these are just a few things that are going on in my head, just a few!
